Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cruel and Unusual

I had training for my job today. I am not sure you can call it training though because I don't think I learned anything at all.

We were supposed to be learning about fraud but I am pretty sure that all I learned was that 2 of the people are really annoying and how to fall asleep without the instructor noticing.

The second thing I learned I already knew how to do but I hadn't done since high school which was almost 9 years ago. So I pretty much relearned it today.

There were 2 people that kept making comments and asking questions which caused the guy to go really slow. It is a 2 day course and there are 9 chapters and at lunch today we were only at the end of chapter 1. At the end of the day we were halfway through chapter 4 though so maybe we will be done on time.

I wish I could talk to my employer and say that these classes are just a waste of their money and my time but I have only been there 2 months and I don't think they would appreciate that.

I mean really they are RIDICULOUS. We sit there for 8 hours and listen to these guys talk about things they have experienced in the course of their career. And most of the time the only things we learn are personal things about the instructor.

This is my third training class and here is what I have learned:
  • the first guy was from Nashville and is a huge Predators fan. He has three kids and actually likes coming to PA.
  • the second guy is from Miami and is one of those old people with a young child. He has three kids, two of which are out of college with families of their own and one that is 7!
  • the third guy is actually the second guy. But I learned something new about him today, he is really allergic to cats and said that stray cats he finds turn into alligator food in the everglades.

See...I haven't learned anything from this.

Okay, that's a lie. The first guy talked about interviewing techniques and I learned a lot of useful information to help me read people at the poker table better. That training was also 2 days and the second day was all about deciphering a lie. So that was cool.

Today though was something that they should put criminals through. I can tell you this....I wouldn't kill anyone if all I could do for the rest of my life was sit through these training courses.

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