You HAVE To Read This

Have you ever watched someone actually eat until they puked??

And I don't mean an eating contest or anything. Just a normal meal??

I have. Check this out for the story.

Seriously, check this out.

If you read nothing else today, it should be this.

Did you read this yet?

If not, go here now!!

I Couldn't Make This Up!!

Jari (pronounced Yar-ee) sent this email out to a few of us a couple weeks ago:

alright kids

we all know my love affair with my 86 camry

we also know all the fun problems that come with a 22 year old car

my registration is up at the end of july, i would bet she isnt going to pass without quite a bit of money dropped on my part

i dont know what im going to do about a replacement yet

but

i am asking you if you know of any place i might store her

ive looked into storage places but that shit can get expensive

im not looking to drop $50 a month to store her, bc then its just cheaper for me to keep her on the streets and insured

i can just get some guido south philly fuck to have her "pass" inspection

so, any ideas? maybe someone that has a bunch of industrial storage space, etc...

any suggestions are welcomed

bc one day im gonna restore her and be the only kid on the block with a classic 1986 camry

I responded with this:

i personally think you should do right by her and drive into the FUCKING RIVER!!

but no, I don't know of anyplace to store it.

Jari:

fuck off

ive had 400 different ppl telling me many different ways to kill her

the most entertaining idea was to take her out in a field shoot her and blow her up

NEVER!!

Monkey's response to the first email:

I have a great place where you can keep it... Newberrytown Auto Salvage. It's kinda like being an organ donor... "Parts" of her will live-on in many other cars for years to come.

Everytime you see an '86 Camry on the roads, you can think to yourself... "I wonder if any of 'my old girls' parts are in that one".

The best part is... the Salvage yard will pay you to let them harvest the remaining 'good' parts from the old girl. :)

What do ya think?

Good Idea?

I personally like Monkey's idea. unique and resourceful.

something tells me Jari didn't enjoy it.

And yes he is serious, he intends to put classic tags on his 1986 CAMRY!!!

Fother Mucking Friday

Here are a couple good stories/jokes for you. I have a few friends that I suspect could experience these situations in their lifetime.



A man calls home to his wife and says,
"Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.
We'll be gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting,
so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.
We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.
Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.
He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."




Harry had a bit of a drinking problem.
Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole,
spent the entire evening there and arrived home,
well inebriated, around midnight each night.

He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened.
His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in.
Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and his returned drunken state.
But Harry continued his nightly routine.

One day, the wife, distraught by it all, talked to a friend about her husband's behavior.
The friend listened to her and then asked, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home?
Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss?
He then might change his ways." The wife thought it was worth trying.

That night, Harry took off again after dinner.
Around midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition.
His wife heard Harry at the door and let him in.

This time, instead of berating him as she had always done,
she took his arm and led him into the living room.
She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off.
Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little.

After a while, she said to him, "It's pretty late.
I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"
At that, Harry replied in his inebriated state,
"I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble if I go home anyway!"

What it takes....

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.

Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town.

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady.

"We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.

We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled.

"My husband quietly said 'That's once.'

We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again.

Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.'

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time.

My husband promptly removed a revolver from his pocket and shot him.

I started to protest over his treatment of the mule

when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"

This is how every good marriage is but typically (and lets be honest here) it is the woman with all the control.

I have no problem admitting that my wife wears the pants in my house. That's fine with me

Sure every once in a while I pretend to make a decision or I act like I can do what I want.

But I know the truth and so do most of the people around me.