Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The House You Grew Up In

Last post I mentioned that I drive past my old Church everyday on the way to the bus stop. Well the corner that I get the bus is basically the same street I grew up on.

I used to drive down that road every single day.

It's weird the stuff that you feel and think when put in the situation.

After my parents divorced and then remarried my mom sold the house that I grew up in. I don't blame her, it was a 4 bedroom house with way too much space for one person. And I don't blame her new husband cause my dad built that house (literally from the ground up) and it would have to be weird to live there.

But it still sucks that she had to move. Many people get to return to the house they grew up in forever. My mom still gets to see the house she grew up in cause her parents still live there. My dad's parents only recently moved from the house where he spent many a year.

My wife gets to go back to the house where she spent many of her childhood years.

I am not mentioning all that to whine or complain that I don't but just to point out that it is somewhat common. Sure there are probably just as many (if not more) people who don't cause their parents moved but many people do.

It's just funny cause I will stand at the corner waiting for the bus and stare down the street and memories come rushing back. We used to walk that street to get to a local convenience store where we would regularly go for candy and soda during the summer. I delivered the afternoon paper on that street when I was 12. After I started driving that was the main way in and out of the neighborhood I lived in so I was driving on it just about everyday.

Actually for about 6 or so months I would drive down that road after work cause it was the easiest way to leave my parking space. I would drive down just like I had 100s of times before. I could actually see my old house in the distance and then I would turn and head home to my current house.

I have only actually driven by the house maybe a handful of times since my mom moved. I really do miss so much about it. And there really isn't one particular thing that I miss more than anything else. I would probably say the basement though if I had to pick something.

The basement was finished and was where us kids spent most of our free time. At first there was just board games and toys, then a tv and video games, then a computer, then a ping pong table and air hockey table, and then finally a pool table. There was always something to do down there and I loved it. Hell it is probably why I am finishing the basement I have now. Although I intend to use that room for myself (for now) I am sure my kids will take over in the coming years.

I have not eliminated the idea of moving at some point in the next 10-15 years. I would like more space and some other ammenities that aren't currently provided. But the boss (also known as my wife) feels that we should stay because of our children. She wants to be in the same house forever so that our kids can come back to the house as they grow.

And the more I think about it the more I agree. I think that is something that I would absolutely provide for my kids. Cause like I said before....I wish I had that myself.

What do you think? Do you get to go back to the house you grew up in? Would you miss it if you couldn't? If you can't, do you wish you could?


Jax Partlow said...

Thanks for thinking about this. I am moving out of my house that I grew up in, in two months. I am so heart broken, but it makes sense. My parents went through and awful divorce and walking around the house you see my dad's handy work everywhere. I just thought about how I am never going to look in my mirror again in my house, the one that watched me grow up through all the stages of my childhood. Thanks for making me realize that I am not the only person that is sad for a loss of a house.

Anonymous said...

I too miss the house me and my brother grew up in. I still dream about it. When I think back I am filled with warm memories, of an innocence only a child can feel. The feeling of safety, love and comfort provided by my mum is prominent though. In the eighties things seemed easier, we would go out to play in the morning and not be seen until tea time. All muddy and tired out. Ready for something to eat, a bath and maybe an episode of the muppett show on tv if we were lucky before going to bed. We lived right next to a field full of sheep and I would listen to them as I drifted off.
Ironically my father in law id friends with the man who owns the house. One one hand I would love to visit it again but on the other hand maybe it would spoil the memories? I am likely to get emotional as well-that would be embarrassing I guess. Memories eh.

Priscilla said...

My stepdad (who raised me since I was a young girl) and my mom split a few years ago and my mom with us kids had to move out of the house they bought together. I had been living there since I was 9 and when I just about to turn 21 is when mom, my brother, and I had to move out. The house eventually sold and now they've chopped down one of the front yard trees and painted the door red. It really bothers me to be honest... There are a lot of memories there and the yard (with all of the gardens and trees) was my favorite part. I keep having dreams about the old house as well and I've only driven past it once since we had to move.
Friends of mine have experienced the same thing, although their parents stayed together and moved for other reasons. It's very heartbreaking. :(

J said...

I grew up in an Air Force family, so there was no one house I grew up in, and never a consideration that there would be.

However, my grandparents did live in the same house since I was born, so I did get a taste of what it was like to return to a house that housed memories of different stages of my life.

In some ways it is comforting because it adds stability and context. In other ways, it is kind of creepy.

We just sold the house my kids grew up in because we wanted a bigger house. They don't seem to mind and make no effort to drive by the old one, even though it is 3 miles away. Shrug.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally heartbroken to move to a new house. I wish I could bring my children to the house that I grew up in.

I try to remind myself that a home is not the things you put in it, but the people that you're there with, but at night, that's hard to understand. I feel so unsettled, like I'm staying in a hotel. I want so badly to be able to go HOME and feel comfortable.

I know it will come with time, but the feeling right now is absurd and unsettling.

Anonymous said...

After my parents divorce my mom has decided to sell the house that I grew up in. The 19 is the last day I will be able to be in it. Being only 15 it makes it even worse since many of the memories I have there were not too long ago. Plus I am essentially having to say goodbye to my childhood in the form of the house, so that sucks. Any tips on how to cope with it?

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Anonymous said...

I never really grew up in a specific place. We were always moving around and none of the places we live ever had much of an impact on me. The one place that was always consistent was grandparents home in Colorado. I spent every summer and every Christmas there for 15 years. now that theyve decided to sell it it feels like my childhood memories are on the market and like a peice of my heart has been ripped out. I always imagined my parents owning the house and my kids going there. I grew up there in a sense. I was born there and have so many fond memories there. with the house that place goes with it. I know that if i lose that house i will have nothing left that is truly mine, nothing left that feels home to me. it was something i thought would always be there. my grandparents built that house and the thought of someone else living there kills me. that house is for our family its been my escape for my entire life.

Robyn said...

Oh man, this SO resonates with me!
I have an enormous attachment to the home I grew up in, and also my grandma's home in which I spent a considerable part of my childhood growing up.
I dream of those homes often, and that for some reason, I am going to get to go back and see them again.

To be honest, I would give ANYTHING to go walk through my old house, or even grandma's old house again. The thought that I most likely never will makes me very, very sad. I get emotional especially when driving past grandma's.. she died when I was fourteen and the house was sold, so perhaps that is why it makes me sad.

I wonder what the deal really is with people and their attachments to their childhood home. Why is it that we feel this way, and why is it so important to us? Is it because of the memories, or is it because it reminds us of a security we once had in our lives that as adults, we will never have again? Who knows. All I know is that I would seriously give anything, ANYTHING to walk through those two houses just one more time. Just typing about it has brought tears to my eyes lol

What goofy, sentimental creatures we all turned out to be :)
Thank you for your post!