Faith No More

Lately I have seen many different articles and posts that have to do with religion.

I saw a post from Devils Heaven about this article.

Then I saw this article on msn.

And then Lynne wrote this.

So I thought, "I have some opinions on this stuff, let me share with everyone."

But first some background:

I grew up in a Catholic household. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to 8th grade. And then I had the choice of high schools and chose a Catholic high school because my friends were going there.

So I went to a Catholic school for 13 years. My parents are (were) Catholic, my grandparents are very Catholic, and most of my relatives are Catholic to some extent.

My wife......is a pagan.

I was baptized, had first holy communion, and was confirmed into the church. But...

I no longer consider myself a Catholic. Most people describe me (and others like me) as a non-practicing Catholic.

I say BULLSHIT!

I do not consider myself an atheist (yet) but rather an agnostic. If someone could prove to me that there is a God than I would believe, but until then I believe that gods don't exist.

So lets examine a couple of those articles I mentioned previously.

First up is the excommunication of anyone that ordains a female priest.

Why? Because women aren't equals?

No its because Jesus didn't have any female apostles so there can be no female priests!

Oh, well that makes perfect sense! How ridiculous is the Catholic church!

I spent 13 years learning about the history of the Catholic faith and why it is what it is and I am pretty sure it was all a LIE!!

And that's why I think the other article about a religious theme park is perfect.

I mean really, what is the difference between Disney characters and Jesus?

One thing, the characters from Disney are typically animated where as Jesus is usually thought of as a human.

But really they are similar.

They are both works of fiction. They have each contributed to a ridiculous amount of money for their creators. And people love them or hate them.

Kids believe in the Disney characters just like some (brain-dead) adults believe in Jesus and everything he said.

Do you really believe that someone can take water and turn it into wine right in front of everyone? Or take bread and fish and make it multiply for everyone??

Seriously?

They are no different than Alice in Wonderland or Fantasia.

Wonderful stories that are part of the greatest works of fiction that the world has ever seen.


Now don't get me wrong. If you believe in this stuff that's fine, just leave me alone.

My sister is quite religious. She is a christian and truly believes that I am going to hell. But I don't want to hear about it.

I am a good person. I am nice to everyone and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. And many times that gets me into trouble but its who I am.

But I don't believe in a god (or the God).

So does that mean that I am going to hell? I guess that depends....


do I believe in heaven and hell??

I Couldn't Make This Up!!

Jari (pronounced Yar-ee) sent this email out to a few of us a couple weeks ago:

alright kids

we all know my love affair with my 86 camry

we also know all the fun problems that come with a 22 year old car

my registration is up at the end of july, i would bet she isnt going to pass without quite a bit of money dropped on my part

i dont know what im going to do about a replacement yet

but

i am asking you if you know of any place i might store her

ive looked into storage places but that shit can get expensive

im not looking to drop $50 a month to store her, bc then its just cheaper for me to keep her on the streets and insured

i can just get some guido south philly fuck to have her "pass" inspection

so, any ideas? maybe someone that has a bunch of industrial storage space, etc...

any suggestions are welcomed

bc one day im gonna restore her and be the only kid on the block with a classic 1986 camry

I responded with this:

i personally think you should do right by her and drive into the FUCKING RIVER!!

but no, I don't know of anyplace to store it.

Jari:

fuck off

ive had 400 different ppl telling me many different ways to kill her

the most entertaining idea was to take her out in a field shoot her and blow her up

NEVER!!

Monkey's response to the first email:

I have a great place where you can keep it... Newberrytown Auto Salvage. It's kinda like being an organ donor... "Parts" of her will live-on in many other cars for years to come.

Everytime you see an '86 Camry on the roads, you can think to yourself... "I wonder if any of 'my old girls' parts are in that one".

The best part is... the Salvage yard will pay you to let them harvest the remaining 'good' parts from the old girl. :)

What do ya think?

Good Idea?

I personally like Monkey's idea. unique and resourceful.

something tells me Jari didn't enjoy it.

And yes he is serious, he intends to put classic tags on his 1986 CAMRY!!!

1 pitch, 1 run

I haven't posted in a couple of days mainly because I haven't really had any urge to.

But I am back on this Wednesday (oh yeah, it's actually Thursday). I love short weeks!

Last weekend:

I had a good time all weekend.

Friday the wife, daughter and I went to this little pizza buffet place (which sucked) and to look at a new car. And while we came away feeling like we could afford it we decided that it just wasn't the right time to add the car payment to the bills.

After that we watched a movie (the holiday) which was very good.

Saturday I got up early (8ish) and got started on my yard (house) work that I had planned for the weekend.

I had been waiting for weeks to stain my deck because I needed a few days with no rain and a full day to scrub and stain it. Finally this past weekend came along and I got to do it.

I never want to do it again!

After scrubbing the whole deck which made my arms hurt I took a few hours break to let the deck dry from hosing it down.

While I took a break I walked around the yard (which I have had since April of 07) and picked up rocks and dug out rocks (that were there when I moved in) because they are ruining my lawn mower.

After that I had lunch and then got started staining the deck.

About 2 (I think, close to 2 anyway) Verb called and said he was coming down. I didn't remind him that I was staining the deck because I figured at worst I would have company or maybe he would help a bit.

And he did. He also ruined the shorts he had on as he somehow got paint on them.

After we were done with the deck Young Buck came down and we played some wii, had dinner, played some wiffle ball, watched the Pens/Wings game, and played more wii (mario kart) until about 2 am.

Good Times!

Sunday I got up early (830ish) and relaxed for a minute or two before starting to set up and get things ready for the cookout that would commence at 3pm.

I cleaned up the tools I used Saturday in the yard, got the toys out to play with, and started washing some furniture for later.

Verb came down around 1 to wash his car, after which we washed my car when it arrived home from being out. Young Buck arrived shortly after that.

We finished getting set up for the cookout before retiring to the couch to watch some of the Indy 500 and (surprise) play some Mario Kart Wii.

We went outside after that and tested the wiffle ball field to see if it would work for a kickball field. It wouldn't. It wasn't big enough and the yard next to me is not really a yard yet, just wild weeds and grass growing taller and taller every year. The first time I kicked it out we spent a good 15 minutes looking for the ball.

And to the minor amazement from the neighbors out back (who watched us search for the ball the first time), WE DID IT AGAIN! Only this time I also punted a football over there. SHIT!

At about 4 people started to show up. We goofed around out back until we started cooking at about 530.

After dinner the wiffle ball game commenced. You can check out this page for a minor recap. But the two teams ended up tied 5-5 and there was only 1 home run. (the first batter, with me pitching - SHIT)

After we finished with wiffle ball and talking for a while some people left while the others ended up in the living room......playing the Wii.

Until 2 AM!! (see a pattern anywhere?)

Monday was a lazy day for me to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! It was AWESOME!

And then back to work on Tuesday, Shit!

Then Don't Come Next Time

It was a very good weekend. Had a cookout, played wiffle ball, threw the football around, and played some serious Mario Kart Wii. (more to come on all of that in the following days)

But let’s start this story on Friday afternoon.

I called my buddy, Oompa Loompa (and yes he is built like one, but no he isn't orange), to see if he and his family were coming to the party on Sunday afternoon.

We were having burgers, hot dogs, salad, and other things that you have at a cookout.

Plus we were playing wiffle ball and whatever else we wanted to play and do.

Oompa has a daughter that is 3 days younger than my daughter so they play together and have fun off on their own.

So I call him cause he had said through an email that they weren’t sure yet, but we needed to know so that we could get the food.

And this is what he said (honest to god he said it)

“we want to come, but we might not because we are having burgers and hot dogs on Monday and we don’t want to eat that two days in a row.”

HUH?!?!?!?!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

And they didn’t come!!!

They decided that instead of coming and having fun hanging out with friends and having some decent (if not good) food, they opted to stay home and not join us.

What makes the story even more ridiculous is that they keep telling us that they want to spend more time with us so that the girls can play together and because they enjoy hanging out.

SO WHY NOT COME??

I don’t even want to invite them in the future when we are having chicken (with the world’s GREATEST barbecue sauce, made by wifey) or marinated flank steak (from Glenn Miller’s deli in Lemoyne, the absolute best steak anyone, and I mean ANYONE, in the world has EVER EVER had).

Because if you are only coming for the food than you shouldn’t be coming AT ALL!

Fother Mucking Friday

Here are a couple good stories/jokes for you. I have a few friends that I suspect could experience these situations in their lifetime.



A man calls home to his wife and says,
"Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.
We'll be gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting,
so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.
We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.
Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish.
He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."




Harry had a bit of a drinking problem.
Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole,
spent the entire evening there and arrived home,
well inebriated, around midnight each night.

He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened.
His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in.
Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and his returned drunken state.
But Harry continued his nightly routine.

One day, the wife, distraught by it all, talked to a friend about her husband's behavior.
The friend listened to her and then asked, "Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home?
Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss?
He then might change his ways." The wife thought it was worth trying.

That night, Harry took off again after dinner.
Around midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition.
His wife heard Harry at the door and let him in.

This time, instead of berating him as she had always done,
she took his arm and led him into the living room.
She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off.
Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little.

After a while, she said to him, "It's pretty late.
I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"
At that, Harry replied in his inebriated state,
"I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble if I go home anyway!"

I Have Heard Better

I need some opinions on this.

I was changing to go out and cut the grass when the wife said THIS to me:

"I think your stomach has definitely gotten bigger."

And then she added this a little later:

"I didn't say you were getting FATTER, I said bigger. You can take that any way you want to."

Okay, fair enough. I take it as a fat joke/comment, which I am getting used to (mainly cause I make them about myself).

But that's different than your significant other telling you that you are getting bigger!

Now don't get me wrong, I am not a little guy like my good friend verb or James Van Der Beek, but I am not John Goodman either.

How would you take it? I take it as meaning, honey you are beginning to look like a pig. Do something about it.

But that's me, anyone else have an opinion?

You Wish

I will take a break from bitching here today to celebrate.

Celebrate what you ask.

That I paid 3.29 a gallon for gas yesterday!

HAHA - this is me laughing at all of you who are paying 3.79 for gas.

How did I get gas 50 cents cheaper than you?

We go to an awesome grocery store that gives you 10 cents off of gas for every $100 you spend in the store. You accumulate points over a couple months and then redeem them.

And like I said before I drive a 92 Chevy full size pickup truck. IT EATS GAS! and it leaks oil, but that's a different story for another day.

But I also only drive my truck about 10-15 miles a day. Just so that I can catch a bus and get back home from work. So I only fill up about once a month or so.

Oh and I forgot to mention just so you don't think I am really that lucky or anything, the gas still cost me $98 due to the 30(or so) gallon tank my truck has.

So really I saved 15 bucks but it still cost me almost a hundred.

RIDICULOUS!

A little out of line? Maybe.

Ok, so maybe I was a little out of line yesterday. But I think it was more just out of character.

To be honest I debated all morning about whether I should write that post or not. And I obviously decided to write it.

I know of 3 people that read this blog, that friend (rarely but I think he checks it), this friend, and the wife. And those 2 said that they couldn't believe I wrote it.

They both agreed though that I am right in my opinion.

And don't think that this was the only thing that made me think about not being friend's with said friend anymore. Cause it most definitely is NOT.

There have numerous times where we stopped talking because of some stupid thing he did. So I feel justified in my decision, but there is still more to it.

When I met said friend, 8 years ago as a freshman in college, we had similar interests and were obviously at a similar point in our lives.

But now things are different (which is what happens when you get older). I have a family, a good job with a great future (even though I am not a fan of working), a house and other interests that I give my time and effort towards.

And said friend has no family, no real job, no house and much different interests than me.

So when he tells me something I give him advice based on where I am in my life and what my life has taught me. But his life is nowhere near mine and he doesn't not feel like the advice fits.

But that is what our friendship has been based on in the past few years. His life and stories and my advice and opinions.

There have been times when the roles were reversed but usually he would call and tell me something and ask for my opinion. I would give it and he would do the opposite.

And that's how it went. Until a few months ago.

I told him that I didn't want to know about his life anymore. I didn't want him calling and bitching or telling me about his conflicts. And he didn't and it worked for a while.

But now I realize that there really is no friendship outside of those parameters and I don't want to go back there.

Mainly because I get frustrated in dealing with him and I don't need the aggravation. Maybe that is my problem, that I can't just let things go, but it is my problem so I have to do something about it.

So I am.

Tired of it!

I have a few close friends and a few others that I consider friends that live near me.

I also have 3 friends that don't live near me that I have known since I was 5 and I consider them my brothers.

And most of my friends know the kind of person I am. If they tell me a story I am going to give my opinion whether or not they want it. The one's that want an opinion tell me about something, the one's that don't, don't.

So yesterday a friend of mine (who definitely knows that I like to give an opinion) was telling me a story of how he got a speeding ticket.

And this friend is one of those people that know a little bit about everything but not much about anything.
One of those people that no matter what someone tells them they can compare it to something that either happened to them to to someone they now.

Well my friend starts telling me about how he was following someone else and how they were going faster and blah blah blah....

All I heard was an excuse, which is quite typical of said friend. He does not seem to be able to accept responsibility for ANY of his actions without first rationalizing them.

So he starts arguing with the cops about how he got pulled over and the other person didn't. Well the other person was a cop for one and he was IN A MARKED COP CAR!!

Did you think maybe he was part of the speed trap? Or that maybe he was getting you to be stupid?

Well it surely worked. You were an idiot and you got a ticket.

But what really pisses me off is his blatant lack of respect for authority. And it isn't just when he gets pulled over. When he is at work a lot of the time he is bitching cause a boss didn't give him this or this boss doesn't like him or he is trying to get a day off.

Well no duh they don't like you. You are a high maintenance PAIN IN THE ASS!!

Maybe my issue with his lack of respect is more personal than social. But I was raised to respect you elders and authority. And I expect others to do the same. Is that wrong of me? I don't think so.

When I tried to tell him my opinion, which he even admitted knowing that it was coming, he started talking and wouldn't stop because he didn't want to hear my opinion.

If you didn't want my opinion than DON'T TELL ME THE STORY!!

And don't try and tell me you tell me everything cause I didn't even know you got a new car!

But anyways I am getting off track. I have many friends that don't give me this much trouble.

In fact all of my other friends combined don't give me as many headaches as this ONE does. And yes maybe that is MY fault and maybe I should just ignore things more and let things go but I can't.

So instead....

I think I am done being friends with this person.

And yes he does sometimes read this blog and I am hoping he does today!

What it takes....

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.

Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town.

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady.

"We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.

We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled.

"My husband quietly said 'That's once.'

We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again.

Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.'

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time.

My husband promptly removed a revolver from his pocket and shot him.

I started to protest over his treatment of the mule

when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"

This is how every good marriage is but typically (and lets be honest here) it is the woman with all the control.

I have no problem admitting that my wife wears the pants in my house. That's fine with me

Sure every once in a while I pretend to make a decision or I act like I can do what I want.

But I know the truth and so do most of the people around me.

Making amends with the Universe

Well apparently my ego boost the other day has caused a rift between myself and the universe. You see, I am not really as conceded as my Friday post made me sound to be.

Yes there are days when I feel everything should be all about me. But they aren't and I get through those days anyhow.

But since I have made that post the universe has made an example out of me.

First lets talk about the poker game.

I played very well. Almost perfect even. I can only remember maybe 1 or 2 bad plays on my part. But the thing that EVERYONE has to remember about poker is that it is 75% LUCK!! No matter what anyone tells you, if you don't get good cards you aren't going to win.

Yes you have to bluff sometimes and win some pots without good cards but unless you get good cards you will not win the game.

And the universe made sure that I didn't win on Friday night. I got a couple good cards throughout the night but not near enough.

So, what I am saying is that I lost Friday night. I did not win anything, in fact I lost money.

Now lets look at the Wii.

Apparently Nintendo and the universe are on the same page here.

Because I couldn't do anything right on that thing Friday night. There was a group of us (Young Buck, Verb, Lazy Old White Guy, and Wifey) playing Wii sports and Mario Kart that night.

Lazy Old White Guy has minimum life so he plays or used to play all the time and has perfected the different games. Where as the rest of us just started playing about a week ago.

So LOWG beat all of us at bowling and anything else on Wii Sports.

After LOWG left we played some Mario Kart. And I couldn't do that either. Everything I tried to do ended badly. So instead of throwing the wheel out the window I just threw it at Verb and told him to play.

That was my Friday, eventful but not good.

Saturday I didn't do much. I tried the whole Mario Kart thing in the morning and turned it off again shortly after falling off multiple sides.

And then while running a little late taking my daughter to a birthday party I hit EVERY GOD DAMN RED LIGHT ON THE WAY!!! I am not even kidding. I sat at every single light. And I tried not to get pissed but as you can tell, I didn't happen.

After that it seemed like the Universe started to ease up a bit.

At least until I got up this morning with the intentions of cutting the grass. See yesterday the weather said rain Saturday night and SUN on Sunday. So I would cut the grass Sunday.

HA!!! It is raining and it is supposed to be showery all day.

DAMN YOU UNIVERSE!!

So I thought I would try to help myself out in the coming days. But I was told to do it NOW!!

Because my wife is a Penguins fan and they can win the playoff series against the (god I hate them) Flyers today.

And she wanted to make sure that I made amends and apologized to the universe for my mistaken comments on Friday. So that the team I am rooting for (Penguins) beats the hell out of the most hated team in the house (Flyers) with no input from the universe.

So universe, I apologize for my conceded beliefs in myself.

I now know that the sun does not set on my ass....

at least not everyday!!

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

Have you ever felt that you were just the best thing in the world?

Have you ever felt that people should feel privileged to even know you?

Have you ever felt that you just can't be wrong? ever?

Have you ever felt that people just move for you when you are walking or driving?

Have you ever felt that the sun rises and sets on you?

Have you ever felt that the world revolves around you?

Well you shouldn't because the world revolves around me!!

I feel this way everyday because I am the greatest thing since sliced bread!!

And don't any of you forget it!!!

And to all of you playing poker against me tonight (monkey, verb, young buck, sparky, lazy white guy, wifey, or even marky), why don't you all just save yourselves some time and energy and just give my your money.

It will be much easier and less trouble than if you actually sit at the same table as me!!

Oh yeah!! Absolutely the greatest thing since sliced bread!!

I want to be a ______ when I grow up!!

I have never had that dream job that some people have.

I never wanted to be a firefighter or a pro athlete.

I would love to be a scout for a hockey or football team but the travel is just way too much no matter what the job.

The only thing that I have always known is that I wanted to be my own boss in some fashion. I kind of got to do that for a year and it was great.

But I am really not sure I have the ambition to make it last for a long period.

I really don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

My dad’s side of the family and my siblings have always been different though.

My grandmother was a teacher and loved it. My aunt is a teacher and loves it. My uncle is a food science doctor kind of guy and he loves it.

My dad went to college because he had to (parents orders) but didn’t graduate with a degree because he changed his major too many times. He has owned his own construction company ever since and wouldn’t change anything.

My sister is very much like that side of the family, very MONEY oriented. They all seem to hoard their cash and count it daily. She has always been like this and has a good job now. She has always wanted to work in the financial field and does, although she might move on to another company, she knows what field she wants to be in.

My other sister just graduated college and already has a job lined up to be a teacher. And guess what. She loves it. She has been working with kids for years and has always known that she would be a teacher someday.

Me? I’ve got nothing like that. I don’t have the ambition to really get ahead in the corporate world and I hate having to be somewhere for 8 hours a day no matter how much you have to do.

I am currently an auditor which isn’t bad because I love numbers but I also hate money and really don’t want to work with it all the time.

I like to be a little creative with a job. The only thing that I really remember ever saying “that would be a cool job” was an architect or landscaper. I think both of those would be interesting. I could design different things and use my creative side.

But I hate being outside too much and I DO NOT want to go back to school. So guess what…..not likely to do either!


My mom is a little more the creative type that lacks ambition as well. So at least there is some one else in the family that understands.

My sister (who just graduated) has a b/f, lets call him Donkey, that also just graduated college. He wasn’t the greatest student either. He graduated with a degree in biology with a minor in philosophy, that’s right a philosophizing biologist. Not something you see every day.

But Donkey does not know what he wants to do (like me) and my family and sister sat there and attacked him last night saying that he needs to find a job immediately and start working in his field.

Why? So he can leave in 3 years because he hates it? He is only 22, give him time. Let him do a couple crap jobs in meaningless fields so that he can think about what he wants to do. If he is rushed into a decision it will only end badly.


But anyways I am getting off point.

I just need to find something to make some money and support my family while being able to be creative and work for myself out of my home if possible.

Maybe I will be a writer.

I have wanted to do that too. I really enjoy writing too. I actually have a good idea. I think I will refine it and post it on here for you all to read about soon.

More Idiots

One of my biggest problems in this country and perhaps the world (I really haven't seen it yet to know) is people who put themselves before their children.

As I said previously I am in Mount Pleasant this week and there is really nothing to do at night. I am a huge hockey fan (hate the Flyers, love the Caps, can stand the Pens) and I wanted to watch the Pens/Flyers game last night but the hotel does not have the right channel.

So on Monday and Tuesday I asked people I met if they knew of any decent sports bars where I could watch the game.

NO was basically the only answer I got. One guy told me to drive about 20 minutes and another said about 30 minutes to get to a bar.

So I decided that since I am not the only one here and don't have exclusive rights to the car I would call Applebees and see if they were showing it.

They were but with no sound. No problem because I think the announcers are typically idiots anyways.

So I sat at the bar from about 730 til 10 and watched the game.

There was a couple (a rather large couple) sitting at a table near the bar with their probably 5 year old daughter.

Here is where my problem is....they were there to watch the game and made this little girl sit and stay at the restaurant for 3 hours with NOTHING to do.

They didn't bring her anything to do, they just expected her to sit there and be happy. And then they let her have free run around the restaurant. You could see waitresses talking to her up and down the rows of tables.

And then they really pissed me off. They were sitting at the table keeping a pretty close eye on her (which did actually impress me cause I surely didn't expect that) most of the time. And then all of a sudden they both get up and walk to the bar (not far) and lit up their cigarettes. And just turned their heads on the child and paid attention to the game and their cancer sticks.

I couldn't believe it. Okay that's not true, I could believe because these people looked trashy and worthless. But still you would think you could make it a little bit longer without having a cigarette.

So to recap these people brought their young child to a restaurant (they didn't eat so not really a restaurant for them, more of a bar) to watch a hockey game. They didn't bring her anything to do and didn't care what she did around the restaurant. And instead of taking turns smoking at the bar and not paying attention they both went at the same time and didn't pay attention.

But some of you probably don't see what is wrong with this and maybe you are right, maybe I am just a prick and think everyone should act right. But that's who I am so get used to it. And yes they could have just gone to a sports bar (if they could find one) but they at least went to a mostly smoke free place, so I guess they did that right.


On another note, you should check out a good song from Tantric. here is a link to their myspace page, just click on The One and play it. I think it is a great song.

Staying or Going

Right now I am sitting in a hotel room in Mount Pleasant, PA. If you were wondering, it is a little east of Pittsburgh.

And I hate it here. I like it at home.

Okay, maybe hate isn’t the right word but I really would rather be at home.

See the job I have has a ton of perks. I mean a lot. I get 11 holiday days a year, 10 annual leave days, 13 sick days, 1 personal day, and another 13 days a year off for taking a 30 min lunch instead of a 60 min lunch.

The people I work with are great and there is really not anyone to watch over me all the time. My manager walks by my cubicle about twice a day and only says two words to me. And that is GREAT because I don’t have to worry about someone harping at me all day long about what I am doing.

On top of all that I am not really all that busy, which means I can do other things at work like read everyone else’s blogs and write my own blogs.

But there are a few serious downsides to my job.

One is that I am not all that busy which means that sometimes I actually just sit at my desk in my cubicle (which is quite big compared to other entry level workers) and literally twiddle my thumbs.

I would rather be busy and have minimal free time at work than have NOTHING to do.

The other major problem with my job would be the travel. I have to travel around to little rural areas (mostly) in Pennsylvania and do audits.

I don’t mind the work even but I HATE being away from home. Especially considering that I am still training so I have to go with someone else.

If I was on my own I would be able to get the work done faster and get out of town earlier but I am not on my own and won’t be the next trip either.

The travel is only about once a month but it can be for the entire week. If it were just for a day or two it wouldn’t be a big deal but it isn’t. At least not right now.

I know there are a lot of people out there that would love to travel because they don’t want to be at home all the time. But I am a homebody and LOVE being at home. I LOVE being with my family and being able to relax at home.

So what should I do?

I can transfer all around the company if I want but I might lose my big cubicle, extra 13 days off, uninterested manager, and nice people in the office.

Or I can stay at the same position and just deal with the travel.

I have a few months to decide because I can’t transfer until mid August when my probationary period ends. But that is what was on my mind, so that’s what’s on the page.

Thanks for listening.

Ah...the all knowing

WOW....two posts in one day?!?!?!? Kind of considering the earlier one was really early in the morning or just late at night depending on your perspective.

I was watching the movie Elizabethtown last night when I wrote that other post, which is what made me think of that topic.

This post is something that I have been marinating on for a couple days now.

This is a message to all parents and to all future parents.

If your child is playing a sport, DO NOT coach from the sideline.

It is fine and very much appreciated to CHEER from the sideline (appropriately of course). But there is no reason to give coaching advice.

Unless of course you are the coach!

So many times I hear parents who think they know what they are talking about telling their child what to do.

What if the coach specifically said not to do what you just told them to do?

My daughter plays under 8 soccer so right now the girls are all learning how to listen to a coach and learning the nuances of soccer.

The other day her team had a game and one of the girls was on defense. But the parent of this girl told her that she can’t help the team by standing back there on defense. She should run up and join the offense so that she can score.

WHAT??

Isn’t defense just as important? And if the coach wanted the girl to go play offense then he would put her on offense or tell her himself.

But this parent decided that his daughter was too good to play defense because she WASN’T helping the team.

No, she WAS helping her team by being in position to keep the ball out of the net if it came back there.

But the parent was unable to see past themselves to realize this.

All I am saying is that the coaches typically know what they are doing.

How do you expect these kids to listen to a coach if you are telling them different things?

The coach tells them one thing and you tell them another….?

That is not going to work and you need to STOP!

Unless of course you don’t want your child to learn the proper way to play. And I think you do.

So just let the COACHES coach and you the parent can offer words of ENCOURAGEMENT from the sidelines.

But PLEASE don't COACH unless you ARE the coach!

Home

Have you ever just gotten the urge to move away from home?

I have had that feeling and still have it from time to time.

But really there is noway that I could ever leave. I mean my entire family (well almost the entire) is here and so are 75% of my friends.

My job is here, my house is here, everything is here.

Why would I get the feeling to move then?

I mean I love it here. I am about 5 hours away from everything. Pittsburgh, Washington, Baltimore, Philly, the beach, Atlantic City, and New York City are all within driving distance for a day trip.

We have great semi-pro sports teams and get all the Penn State games on TV. What more could I want?

Nothing and that's what doesn't make sense about it.

Because I never think about moving to a bigger city. I always think about moving to a small town where everyone knows everyone.

How many people go that way? Most people who have the desire to move are moving OUT of small towns and INTO the big cities.

But you know what, I love it here.

And no matter how many times I may think of moving somewhere else, I always end up feeling like I am in the perfect place.

The weather isn't perfect but it is pretty good. In my opinion there is plenty to do around here. I already mentioned the sports teams, but there is more.

We have one of the best amusement parks in the country in Hersheypark. There are plenty of restaurants and bars (even though I don't drink much). There are a ton of golf courses (eventually I will get clubs and play). And countless other things.

What is not to love?

Nothing and that is why I am still here, just outside of Pennsylvania's capital city.

Did I?

I know that you are all wondering if I got up and got on the treadmill this morning.

You probably even woke up this morning with the question in your head.

Did he get on the treadmill this morning?

I am not going to answer you yet though. First I want to tell you about the awesomeness that is the Nintendo Wii.

I had never touched a Wii remote or controller until I bought it Wednesday night. And since I have this "real" job that requires me to show up everyday, I didn't have a lot of time to play it until last night.

It is as good as advertised. I have 4 games for it. Wii Sports (which comes with it), Wii Play (free $40 remote with $50 game), Super Mario Galaxy, and Mario Kart Wii.

I am a mario kart master and have just about every one that has been released. The SNES game was probably the best but the N64 version was pretty good too.

The new one is harder to play though. Using the Wii wheel to steer takes some getting used to. They also put bikes on the game and they are harder to steer as well. An awesome game so far though.

Wii Sports is solid. The bowling and golf are great. The boxing and baseball are solid. The tennis hasn't been tested enough to make a determination.

Wii Play is not as good. But for $10 it is a solid game. Since I was going to buy a second controller anyways, adding the 10 bucks for another game seemed like the thing to do. My favorite games on that so far are the shooting game and the cow racing. That's right you race cows!

I haven't played Super Mario Galaxy yet so I will let you know soon.

Young Buck and Verb came over last night and we played the Wii for about 4 hours straight. It was incredible. I would imagine that I will be having more guests coming over now.

It isn't really a system that you play by yourself too much. I also have a PS3 so I will still get games for that. But when you have people over the Wii is awesome!

Not only is it fun but you actually get a little bit of a workout using it, especially the boxing game. Which may make it so that I don't have to get up at 530 anymore (doubt it but one can hope, right?).

Oh, and I did get up this morning and get on the treadmill. And I actually stayed on for my desired time!!

I am the man!!!!

What should I......

I have now started 3 different blog posts today and have erased all of them halfway through.

Have you ever done that? That is a first for me.

So far on this blog I haven’t had much trouble but for some reason today I just can’t think of anything to really write about.

Its frustrating!

And when I do think of something I get about halfway through it and decide that I don’t want to write that anymore.

Let’s see what I did today and maybe that will give me something.

I got up early with the intentions of getting on my treadmill and jogging for a little bit but didn’t have the energy. Yesterday I got up early and jogged and then I walked home from work which is about 2-3 miles. So I think my legs were just too tired.

I haven’t been getting on the treadmill with any regularity for the past 2 months so maybe that has something to do with it.

I used to work in construction and there wasn’t much work so I would come home in the mornings some days and hope on the treadmill for an hour or so.

Other days I wouldn’t go to work at all and get on and run for a while in the morning.
But now I have a real (boring) job and I work real (unnecessary) hours every (freaking) day. And my real hours are 7:45 – 4:15. But that doesn’t include travel time. So my real day is about 6:50 – 5:30.

Like I said unnecessary and might I add, ridiculous!

So, because I am slightly (comments on this are unnecessary) overweight, I have decided to get up every morning at the awful time of 530 to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes or so.

So far so okay! I have done it everyday this week but this morning I couldn’t do it. I don’t know why but I was on there for 10 minutes and I felt like I was going to fall over right then.

So I got off and said hell with it.

Tomorrow I will be up again at 530 (which is wrong on so many levels) and back to the grind of trying to live to see 70.
That worked. Look at that I actually got a whole post out of that.

That won’t work too often though because I do pretty much the same things everyday.

But it worked today and that’s all I care about. I hope you enjoyed it even though I know you didn’t.

Lessons for today

My second day of training today was actually more boring than the first day.

Like I said yesterday the training was about fraud detection and prevention or something like that.

Every time the instructor/speaker started talking about fraud I tuned him out and did other things. But every once and a while I would pay attention and learn something.

Here is what I learned today:

• the instructor is from Florida, by way of Cuba, by way of Spain, by way of France. That is correct, my instructor was a French Spanish Cuban American!! Cool shit man.


• Young people don't work hard enough or care enough. But in the same argument people were saying that young people get their work done too quick and then have nothing to do. So which way do they want it; young people who work fast or old people that work slow?


• Did you know that mayors, governors, and presidents don't actually do anything? I did but I wasn't sure if all you knew. See they have all these ass-kissers that do all the real work for them. They are just there to take the credit and/or the blame.


• People can't think for themselves. One lady heard on TV one day that gas was going to reach $11 a gallon sometime in the future. She thinks it is going to happen SOON! Unbelievable.

That is pretty much what I learned in training today! Cool, huh.

But last night I learned something even cooler. Did you know that the extinction of the dinosaurs was caused by a hypercane? Me neither.

What is a hypercane you ask. A hypercane is a hurricane and tornado hybrid storm. Cool?

I thought so too until they said "can another hypercane form and kill everything on earth as we know it?"

Well that just sucks to think about doesn't it!

Have you ever actually thought about what would happen if all of a sudden everything just ceased to exist? It is quite a thought and I think you should take 5 minutes (that you will never get back) and think about it tomorrow!

Oh and one more thing. I just got a Nintendo Wii tonight and it is awesome so far. There was only one left in the Harrisburg area and I got it. How awesome am I??

Cruel and Unusual

I had training for my job today. I am not sure you can call it training though because I don't think I learned anything at all.

We were supposed to be learning about fraud but I am pretty sure that all I learned was that 2 of the people are really annoying and how to fall asleep without the instructor noticing.

The second thing I learned I already knew how to do but I hadn't done since high school which was almost 9 years ago. So I pretty much relearned it today.

There were 2 people that kept making comments and asking questions which caused the guy to go really slow. It is a 2 day course and there are 9 chapters and at lunch today we were only at the end of chapter 1. At the end of the day we were halfway through chapter 4 though so maybe we will be done on time.

I wish I could talk to my employer and say that these classes are just a waste of their money and my time but I have only been there 2 months and I don't think they would appreciate that.

I mean really they are RIDICULOUS. We sit there for 8 hours and listen to these guys talk about things they have experienced in the course of their career. And most of the time the only things we learn are personal things about the instructor.

This is my third training class and here is what I have learned:

• the first guy was from Nashville and is a huge Predators fan. He has three kids and actually likes coming to PA.
• the second guy is from Miami and is one of those old people with a young child. He has three kids, two of which are out of college with families of their own and one that is 7!
• the third guy is actually the second guy. But I learned something new about him today, he is really allergic to cats and said that stray cats he finds turn into alligator food in the everglades.

See...I haven't learned anything from this.

Okay, that's a lie. The first guy talked about interviewing techniques and I learned a lot of useful information to help me read people at the poker table better. That training was also 2 days and the second day was all about deciphering a lie. So that was cool.

Today though was something that they should put criminals through. I can tell you this....I wouldn't kill anyone if all I could do for the rest of my life was sit through these training courses.

Believe It!!

I love poker. It is quite possibly the greatest game on earth.

It helps that I am good at it and that I win all the time we play at home. Seriously I don't think I have lost in the last dozen times we have played. And that puts us in like August I think because it is hard to get enough people.

The next test for me is Atlantic City but I need some money for that.

Friday night was fun though. 5 of us bought in and 2 of us bought in again after they lost their chips. So that made the pot worth 70 bucks (I know we are cheap but we are also poor) and myself and Sparky split the pot; 40 to me 30 to him.

I made 30 bucks and he made 10 because he always needs to re-buy.

I will freely admit that I get my fair share of good cards. Sometimes I get more than my fair share. Friday night started out with me getting more than my fair share and then evolved into just getting my fair share.

The difference between myself and say Monkey is that I get as much as I can from my good hands. And I know when to lay a hand down before I lose too much.

I made one bad play on Friday and it cost be a lot of chips. But fortunately for me I had a lot more left. That was the hand that really gave Sparky a chance to make some money.

All in all it was a good night. I played very well. Read the table fairly well with the exception of one time that I remember vividly when I misread Verb’s hand. But a good night all around.

I think we are going to go to AC sometime in the next few months though. So that will give me a real test of my abilities.

The largest tournament I played in was something like 82 people and I finished 2nd. So I think I can hold my own.

And in my opinion, if you are going to be a good poker player than you have to BELIEVE you are the best player at the table and in the world.

And BELIEVE me, I AM!!

Wish me luck!

Wow! I am really bored right now.

The day is just dragging on and on and on and on……..you getting the picture?

I can’t stand my job right now. If I had enough leave time I would be packing up and leaving right now. But unfortunately I had to use a lot of my time earlier this year for an illness so now I only have a few days that need to last the rest of the year.

I don’t really want to do anything right now. Most days I would just sit here and play solitaire until it is time to leave but I don’t want to today. Other days I would blog for a while but I don’t want to (but I am anyways).

Today I just want to go home. Maybe I will leave a little early. Maybe like 3 or 230 or something.

See a year ago I was a partner in my own business and I wasn’t working that much. I would go to work for about 4-5 hours at the most and I would be home by 1 or 2 in the afternoon at the latest.

But the economy has since fallen and it hasn’t picked itself up yet. And the construction industry (my previous employment) is a wreck right now. So here I sit twiddling my thumbs and trying to stay awake because my job is not very exciting today or most days.

Part of my problem is that I am playing poker tonight and I love playing poker and I haven’t played in a while. We have a group of about 7-10 guys that I will call every other week to schedule a game but we can usually only get 4 together so we don’t even bother. But tonight I didn’t care; we were prepared to play with 4.

We were lucky and got a fifth so it should be a half decent game. All of the players are pretty good. I personally think I am the best but I am sure they would argue the same. In fact Sparky has said all week that he will be winning tonight. I keep telling him to bring extra money so he can buy back in but he doesn’t believe it. The other players tonight are Monkey (a solid player when he is focused and wants to be there), Verb (used to be good but has gotten unlucky and a little impatient of late), and Young Buck (far and away the most aggressive player and can take you out at any point).

I am only telling you about them because I intend to include my friends in more posts. Maybe I will even make one of those character lists on the side panel so you know who the main players are. We’ll see.

Verb and Young Buck were the two guys with me when the old man serial killer came at us.

Game time is 8 and I will update you all on how much I win tomorrow.

My first favorite's list

So last night I was talking to the wife and I was pretty much having a two sided conversation with myself. And it reminded me of the scene in Ocean’s Eleven where Clooney and Pitt are sitting at a bar/restaurant and Clooney basically has a conversation with Pitt without Pitt saying anything.

So it got me thinking about the movie which then turned into what are my favorite movies. So I thought about it today and this is what I have come up with.

Top 5 Favorite Movies of All Time:

1. Good Will Hunting - this was the easiest one to come up with and place on my list. Easily my favorite movie of all time. My favorite scene is the bar scene when Will makes fun of the smart Harvard guy. And then the apples line is classic!
2. Ocean's Eleven - I laugh at this movie and enjoy watching it no matter when I see it. If it is on tv I have to at least watch for a while. Two favorite scenes are the one previously mentioned and one before that when they are waiting to get on the elevator and Clooney gives Pitt a speech about why to do it. Great movie. The sequels were good but there is noway to live up to that movie.
3. Shawshank Redemption - Another movie that I have to watch when it is on. It is actually one of the few movies that I won't leave during a commercial. My favorite scene is probably when the warden discovers that Robbins is gone.
4. Finding Forrester - Being an aspiring writer myself I really enjoy this movie. Not so much for the issues touched on in it but just the movie. My favorite scene is probably when he answers Claire's questions on the porch at the party in front of her dad, the dean. He showed that he is not just a basketball player and that he does know something.
5. Lucky Number Slevin - I have never in my life liked a movie right after I saw it as much as this one. I actually applauded, and I was at home watching it. I will admit that the first hour is a little slow but the second hour is incredible. Totally original and incredibly well done. A favorite scene would probably be when Hartnett is killing the Rabbi's son. He warns him that someone is trying to kill him and then when asked who he says Me and shoots him. Awesome movie.

If you haven't seen these movies I suggest you drop whatever you are doing and go rent them. If you have seen them I suggest you drop whatever you are doing and go watch them now. I would and probably will watch them all soon.

Some other movies that almost made my list were Crash, Apollo 13, and Beverly Hills Cop (the first one). But they couldn't quite convince me to drop another movie off the list.

I will continue to do some other favorite's lists in the future but this was my first and it will probably (much like movies) be my best one.